Two weeks to go

It's two weeks to go until my first event and I've been thinking about Mum a TON lately - I think about her a lot, but lately thoughts of her have been creeping in when I least expect it.

During tough work outs, I start thinking about all the things we had planned to do this Summer - Mum and Dad were supposed to stay with us. So many things planned, I was looking forward to going back to teaching Spin classes in the mornings (at "Oh-Dark Hundred! Ha!) and getting the opportunity to spend my evenings and weekends relaxing with my folks. My Mum has never seen me finish a race, and she was excited to be here for my first event. I think about all of these things, and a flash of anger races through me and I contemplate about how cruel and unfair life can be. Why my Mum? She was one of the best people you could ever meet - and you're probably thinking that I'm biased, but I swear to you, that you could ask any person that has ever met my Mum and you will never hear a bad word be spoken. Her effect on people was so profound that you never forgot her.

A flash of anger races through me, and then vanishes almost immediately. Mum wasn't the kind of person who held on to anger and bad feelings. If she was ever mad at anything or anyone, it was over so fast you almost missed it. She always believed in not holding a grudge and always worked so hard to take care of her family and friends. She was amazing.

I've been working so hard for the past few weeks, both in my training and at Lexus. I feel blessed to be given opportunities for success in both areas and plan to give 100% of my energy to both. Kind of sounds impossible, right? How can I focus 100% on both? It's not easy, but definitely not impossible. When you depend on your workmates as your family and your sanity check - it enables you to be successful in other areas of your life. I'm incredibly lucky to have the most amazing team at Lexus and it's their support that enables me to get out of bed at 3am or so, and still have a ton of energy to power my way through my day. Thoughts of Mum also help me remain focused in both training and work - I wonder a lot if she's near me, watching me and if she's proud of me. I try to hold each of my actions and decisions to the "Issy Test" - if it's what Mum would have done, then it's the right thing to do. Mum's moral compass always pointed true, so I believe that my "test" is completely fool proof.

So, throughout my day, thoughts of Mum creep in and I welcome them. It allows me a brief millisecond to re-set and re-group. A flash of a memory of my childhood, of her with my son, of her in her hospital bed - these are all images that now enable me to better define the course of my day, my week - my life. It's incredibly important to me that I do the right thing, for the right reasons and knowing that Mum will continue to be that little added "litmus test" makes me feel that she's close by, making sure that I never step out of line!

Carpe Diem

I'm not a scientist and I could never hope to actually be the one to cure such a tragic disease as Cancer - but I have 2 legs and a heart beat, which makes me perfectly able to do everything I can to fundraise and ensure that I continue the legacy of my Mum - which to me, means making the most of every day.

I used to look at those bumper stickers of "Carpe Diem" and think they were kind of cliched, but Mum liked that sticker - and she lived it. Honestly, we don't have enough time to go through all the things my Mum happened to pack into her 59 years, but suffice to say - she Carpe Diem'd the hell out of life.

What am I doing to "Seize the Day"? I'm competing in 4 events this year - 2 triathlons and 2 1/2 Marathons. I'm also training for my first Ironman, Ironman California, next April. If you're there, and you see some blonde girl looking angry on a pink and white bike, just holler at me to "get a move on" would you? That's what Mum would do.

I firmly believe that my Mum is with me with every step, pedal and stroke I make. I find this evident through the blessing that is my work place. As is fairly evident by the fact that you found this blog through our website - I work for fabulous Lexus San Diego. What makes us so fabulous? The fact that we are not just a team - but a family. The moment I learned that Mum was terminal, David (GM), Dan (SD) and Julie (SM) stopped at nothing to get me to my family. It didn't matter what I needed - I had it, even without asking. I'm not one to lose my head during crazy circumstances, but I have to be honest - this was a time where I really wasn't all together, but they were there for me, helping me keep one foot moving in front of the other. Why am I writing about this? Because it's imperative that you see that I couldn't do all the things I need to do to honor Mum, without their support. I've worked for a lot of people in my life, and I can safely say that I will never get the opportunity to work for and with such amazing people as I do at Lexus San Diego. Their compassion is not limited to me, or the rest of our Lexus family. How we treat each other, is how we treat our guests. If you are ever in the market for a new car, or you need service for your Lexus - we are the place you want to be.

OK, I won't try and sell you our Dealership here, it's not the intention of my blog. But you have to bear with me, my Lexus family is tightly intertwined in my story - so I will mention people from time to time, it's just me being honest with you.

So, here I am with 4 events scheduled and one more that is coming for 2011. With any luck, I will make it to Kona for 2011 - the perfect way for me to make Mum proud by completing one of the most physically grueling events ever created. All the while I'm trying to fundraise for Team Hope, work full time in a position that requires complete focus and dedication along with training - so trust me when I say, I look forward to my "Sunday Sleep-in". It's the one day each week that I can sleep past 4am!

So, imagine my surprise when David - the GM - offers to sponsor me for my events, so that I'm not financially over-burdened for wanting to do all this in my Mother's memory. How many employers would do that? Seriously, at a Car Dealership? All I could think of, was how every single stereotype I had ever known of a Car Dealership has now been completely eradicated. It's not a professional sponsorship where I just get "paid to train", no I still get up at 3.30am to get my workout in before work, and I still leave during my lunch-hour to swim laps at a local pool, but my entry fees for these events are covered - which I'm sure you'll agree, helps keep me focused on my goals and dreams, and not performing acrobatics with my check book just to get my entry registered on time!

So, that's my goal - my dream. To work my tail off so that I can be good enough to get to Kona. That will be the ultimate for me - to be able to cross the finish line at the Ironman Championships in Hawaii, within the time limit, to honor Mum's zest for life and her determination to never be dissuaded from doing anything.

I hope that you'll come along for the ride, or say "Hi" the next time you stop by the Dealership!

Her ending, is my beginning...

Who decides to spend each day training for suffering? I don't believe that it's possible to fully prepare oneself for suffering, but I do believe that we can build a foundation of strength from which to draw upon when times get tough.

This is what I'm doing now that my Mum lost her brief battle with Cancer. I used to love to run and be active, it was fun - a hobby. A way in which I could have my cake, and eat it too - literally. Now when I run, swim, bike or do anything physical, it is with the sole purpose of channeling an intense array of emotions into something productive.

When I arrived at the hospital to see my Mum in the bed I was shocked. I couldn't believe how Cancer had ravished her. This woman, who I thought was super-human, could barely move and was lapsing in and out of consciousness. I couldn't understand or comprehend what had happened to the woman who did more with one day, than most of us could do with a lifetime. In a single day, my Mum could complete a 12 hour shift at the hospital, arrive home in time to drive me to school after I had missed my train, meet friends for tennis, then be on time to help my Great-Aunt go shopping. Only to rush home and change so that she would be at one of my musical recitals in time to be in one of the front rows so that she wouldn't miss me performing. My mother managed to attend college full-time to further her education as a well respected nurse, raise 3 demanding (but well intentioned!) children, work full time and help any one of her massive community of friends who needed it.

Like I said, my mother could squeeze more out of a single day, than most people could squeeze out of a lifetime.

Her ending, is my beginning.

From the moment she looked at me for the last time, I resolved to not take one more moment of my life for granted. I also promised that I would do what I could to help the fight against one of the most non-discriminating diseases one can imagine. It dawned on me that Cancer does not care who it hurts, or who it attacks. My mother devoted her life to helping others - professionally, and personally - and still, she was brutally attacked by the senseless killer - Cancer.

This is my beginning. This is the first step I take to help fight for a cure, to help prevent another daughter from watching her mother suffer. Where my darling mother's story ends, mine begins. And with my story, I proudly carry on her legacy - ensuring that the beautiful energy Isobel brought to the world, is never lost.

Every day I train, and you are watching my first step.