Who decides to spend each day training for suffering? I don't believe that it's possible to fully prepare oneself for suffering, but I do believe that we can build a foundation of strength from which to draw upon when times get tough.
This is what I'm doing now that my Mum lost her brief battle with Cancer. I used to love to run and be active, it was fun - a hobby. A way in which I could have my cake, and eat it too - literally. Now when I run, swim, bike or do anything physical, it is with the sole purpose of channeling an intense array of emotions into something productive.
When I arrived at the hospital to see my Mum in the bed I was shocked. I couldn't believe how Cancer had ravished her. This woman, who I thought was super-human, could barely move and was lapsing in and out of consciousness. I couldn't understand or comprehend what had happened to the woman who did more with one day, than most of us could do with a lifetime. In a single day, my Mum could complete a 12 hour shift at the hospital, arrive home in time to drive me to school after I had missed my train, meet friends for tennis, then be on time to help my Great-Aunt go shopping. Only to rush home and change so that she would be at one of my musical recitals in time to be in one of the front rows so that she wouldn't miss me performing. My mother managed to attend college full-time to further her education as a well respected nurse, raise 3 demanding (but well intentioned!) children, work full time and help any one of her massive community of friends who needed it.
Like I said, my mother could squeeze more out of a single day, than most people could squeeze out of a lifetime.
Her ending, is my beginning.
From the moment she looked at me for the last time, I resolved to not take one more moment of my life for granted. I also promised that I would do what I could to help the fight against one of the most non-discriminating diseases one can imagine. It dawned on me that Cancer does not care who it hurts, or who it attacks. My mother devoted her life to helping others - professionally, and personally - and still, she was brutally attacked by the senseless killer - Cancer.
This is my beginning. This is the first step I take to help fight for a cure, to help prevent another daughter from watching her mother suffer. Where my darling mother's story ends, mine begins. And with my story, I proudly carry on her legacy - ensuring that the beautiful energy Isobel brought to the world, is never lost.
Every day I train, and you are watching my first step.
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